


Sparring With Grandma

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-23
Updated: 2000-01-23
Packaged: 2018-11-10 17:50:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11131797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Continues the school days adventures of ten-year-old Ben Fraser.  Sort of a sequel to "Maintain the Right."





	Sparring With Grandma

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Sparring With Grandma

## Sparring With Grandma

by Mary

* * *

NOTES: I had such fun having ten-year-old Ben spread his wings a little in "Maintain the 

Right" so I decided to explore those school days a little further. Besides, I had to 

introduce Innusiq, as my story time-line has them good friends by the time Ben is 

eleven in "Bring 'Em Back Alive." By giving him a young, sympathetic teacher in 

Mrs. Beers, I've allowed him to find a sort of surrogate mother. She makes him 

feel special, just as I have imagined his mother did. But, that's another story... 

DISCLAIMER: Alliance owns Ben, Innusiq, Eric, Grandma and Grandpa, as well as the 

several references and allusions I've made to dueSouth. If they have a 

problem with me borrowing them, well, I'll see them in the ring to settle it! 

Drama/Humor; Rated R (some language) 

**SPARRING WITH GRANDMA**

by Mary 

I was a bit of a loner as a ten-year-old. It wasn't really that I preferred it that way; that's just the way it worked out. I don't know. Maybe it was the two years I'd spent living in isolation with my grandparents in Alert. My social life had never been what you'd call active, but up there it had been non-existent, and I now felt ill-equipped to insinuate myself into my local peer group. After we had moved to Tuktoyaktuk, my grandparents enrolled me at the Junior High School in the hope of shoving me in the right direction, but I floundered a little while trying to find my way. 

* * *

Innusiq was a new boy at school at the start of the second term. Like me, he was just ten years old but educationally advanced for his age. I should have looked upon this as a chance to make a new friend, as we were like two peas in a pod. Both relative newcomers to the area. Both looked upon with a hint of scorn by many of our older classmates. Both loners. But, as I said, I wasn't too sure of myself in those days, so, finding someone else who seemed equally unsure of himself provided me with a golden opportunity to flex my muscles, such as they were. 

"Hi," I said to the new boy as he sat eating his lunch in the yard outside the school on his first day. 

"Hi." He looked at me with interest and curiosity. "I'm Innusiq." 

"I know. Miss Beers told us that." 

"I don't remember your name..." 

"Ben." 

"Oh. Hi, Ben." He went about eating as I tried to give him a menacing stare. "Is something wrong?" 

"That's my bench. I always sit there." 

"Oh, sorry." He moved over to make room for me to join him, but I didn't. "What?" 

"I always sit there alone." 

"Don't you wanna sit with somebody?" 

"No." 

"You want me to sit somewhere else?" 

"Uh huh." As Innusiq reluctantly got up to move to another bench, I stood directly in front of him so he couldn't move. 

"I can't go anywhere with you standing there like that." He didn't seem to be afraid, which worried me a little. 

"If a new guy sits in an old guy's spot, he has to give him his lunch." 

"What? That's stupid." Innusiq raised his voice with these words, and a few of our classmates began to crowd around to watch us. 

"It's not stupid. It's the rule. So, give me your lunch." 

"No." 

"You'd better do what I tell ya, stupid." 

"Make me, stupid!" 

"I will, you know." 

"Oh yeah? How?" 

*Darn! He would have to ask that!* "I'll...I'll...I'll punch you in the face if you don't." I had never punched anybody in the face before and my heart raced at the prospect of having to do so then. And now that I had threatened him, I would have to, if he refused to hand over his lunch. Otherwise, I'd be the laughing-stock of the school. "So, gimme your lunch, In-you-stink!" 

"No." 

Boy, this kid was brave...or stupid. I was wondering if there was any way I could just walk away and drop the whole thing when I noticed that just about the entire class was huddled around to see the fight. *I'll never live it down if I don't punch him,* I realized with regret. So, I shut my eyes, made a fist, and swung my arm around until it met his face with such force that it threw him backwards over the bench. I was shocked to see blood pouring out of his nose as he sat up. *I did that? Oh dear!* I was stunned and couldn't move. 

As all the other kids moved in closer with loud exclamations such as "Wow! Did you see that punch!" and "Did he kill him? Did he kill him?", Mrs. Beers suddenly appeared on the scene and made her way over to check on Innusiq. I watched as she took a tissue and tried to clean his face. 

"Ben did it, Ma'am!" Trish the Tattler wasted no time in informing the teacher. 

"I know, Trish," she answered as she looked up at me with a glare that momentarily stopped my breathing. 

The school nurse came running over and Mrs. Beers explained to her what had happened. Once Innusiq was safely in the care of the nurse, Mrs. Beers took me by the collar and dragged me back to the classroom, depositing me in the corner. I stood nervously before her with my hands clasped behind my back. 

"Turn around and face the wall," she ordered me. 

"But, Ma'am..." At home, I usually got a talking-to before any punishment. 

"Do as I say." 

I frowned and reluctantly turned to face the corner. As I did so, I noticed that several of my classmates were propped outside the room's windows enjoying the show, and I could feel my face reddening with shame. I had been what you might call a model student since attending school instead of being educated at home by my grandmother. So, to suddenly be the object of public chastisement filled me with chagrin. 

"I'm surprised at you, Benton," Mrs. Beers stated with obvious disappointment as she paced behind me. 

"Me too, Ma'am," I replied unwisely. 

"This isn't a joke!" She was angry, to say the least. 

"I know, Ma'am. I didn't mean..." I turned to face her as I tried to explain. 

"I told you to turn around and face the wall!" she stated firmly, and I quickly complied. "Unprovoked attacks on fellow students are not tolerated at this school, and any such infractions are immediately punished. I would've thought you knew that." 

"I do now, Ma'am." 

"You're the last person I would've expected this behavior from. As I recall, you were the object of bullying not long ago, were you not?" Her question was rhetorical, of course. She remembered the otter incident. But I felt that I should answer her anyway. 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"Then you know how it feels to be so treated?" 

"Yes, Ma'am." She remained silent, as if she expected me to say more, so I added, "It feels bad." 

"Is that all you have to say?" 

"I'm sorry, Ma'am." 

"You have always been well-behaved in this class, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you will never do this again. I'll handle your punishment myself, but believe me, young man, if this ever happens again, you will be dealt with by the principal. And let me warn you, he does not take this kind of thing lightly." 

"Yes, Ma'am. It won't happen again. I promise." 

I heard her sigh and, a moment later, sit down at her desk. I stood quietly and apprehensively in the corner until she spoke again. 

"Take your seat, Ben. You will spend the remainder of the recess writing out 'I will not bully my classmates' until I tell you you may stop." 

"Yes, Ma'am." But by the time I sat down and assembled writing paper and pen, I'd forgotten what it was I'd been ordered to write. I was going to ask Mrs. Beers to refresh my memory, but I was too embarrassed. So I decided to surprise her instead with an essay explaining why it was wrong to bully someone. I figured that'd be a lot more interesting for her to read than the same sentence repeated over and over again. 

After about twenty minutes, the bell sounded to call the students back to the classroom. I looked up at Mrs. Beers, hoping to be relieved of my task, but she was engrossed in a task of her own. So, I kept writing as the other kids began to trickle into the room, whispering and pointing at me. 

"Benton, come here, please," I finally heard the teacher say. I hopped off my chair and presented myself to her, only to have her say, rather impatiently, "Bring me your assignment, please." Blushing, I hurried back to my desk, then returned to Mrs. Beers and handed her my masterpiece. 

"What's this, Ben?" she asked as she glanced at my paper. 

"My assignment, Ma'am." 

"No, it's not. Your assignment was to repeatedly write out the sentence 'I will not bully my classmates.' That's not what I see here on this piece of paper." 

I hesitated to reply as I looked at Mrs. Beers and was unnerved by her apparent dissatisfaction with my work. 

"Ben, would you explain this to me, please," she ordered firmly. 

"I forgot what you told me to write, Ma'am, so I wrote that instead. I thought it'd be funner for you to read." 

"'Funner' is not proper language." 

"I'm sorry." Almost all of the other kids had returned to the room by now, and I was feeling very uneasy as they all listened to this conversation. 

"I see," Mrs. Beers said gently after glancing at our audience and then looking back at me. "Well, that was very thoughtful of you, dear," she leaned close to me and whispered, "...but next time, if you're not sure of something, ask. Okay?" 

"Yes, Ma'am," I mumbled anxiously. 

Mrs. Beers cleared her throat and resumed an authoritative manner. "See me after class. I will have a report of this incident for your grandparents, which you are to give to them tonight and return to me tomorrow with a signature indicating they have read it." 

I think my heart stopped beating momentarily as I listened to this pronouncement. *Isn't the schoolroom humiliation punishment enough?* 

"Did you hear me, Ben?" 

I nodded, still unable to speak as I caught my breath. 

"You may return to your seat." 

* * *

I shut myself in my room after school, ostensibly doing homework, but in actuality struggling to summon the courage to present Mrs. Beers' report to my grandparents. I felt certain that disclosure of my misconduct at school would result in severe punishment, and the more I considered this, the more my apprehension grew. 

I sat there reading the report several times over, until I just about had it memorized. I knew it hadn't been meant for my eyes, but my curiosity had gotten the better of me. Besides, if I was going to have to defend myself to my grandparents, I needed to know exactly what I was up against. Now that I'd read it, though, I almost regretted doing so for a couple of reasons. For one thing, I was plagued by guilt for disobeying my teacher, who'd told me I was to give the envelope to my grandparents with the seal intact. Secondly, after reading the description of the incident, I was filled with even more dread at the prospect of my grandparents finding out about what I'd done. 

"Dinner's ready, Son," my grandpa startled me as he appeared at my bedroom door and announced. 

"'Kay, Grandpa. Be right there." 

He left and I continued to sit there, staring at that darned report, my heart racing with panic. I would have to tell them now, or at the very latest, right after dinner. I was immobile, frozen in my chair. It was as if I thought that if I refused to move, time would conveniently stop. 

"Benton!" Grandma's voice shocked me back to my senses as she bellowed from my doorway. "You're expected to come to dinner the first time you're called." 

I knew that, of course. I'd been very well schooled in proper manners. I guess that's why I was so certain I was gonna catch hell for my behavior at school. But I really didn't need to make Grandma annoyed with me before she even knew the rest of the story. 

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry." 

"Fine. Then get up off your fanny, please, and march out to the dinner table," she ordered, pointing the way. 

"Um, Grandma..." 

"Yes, Ben?" 

"Can I skip dinner? I'm not really hungry." 

"You haven't been sneaking sweets into your room, have you?" 

"No, Ma'am. No." 

"Are you ill?" 

"Uh-uh. I'm fine." It wasn't a lie. Yes, my stomach was in knots, but I wouldn't say I was ill, exactly. 

Grandma wasn't born yesterday, as they say. You didn't pull the wool over her eyes and live to tell about it. At least, I had not mastered that skill. And I knew that if this line of questioning continued, it was only a matter of time before I either fell into a trap or broke down and turned myself in. 

"What's bothering you, honey?" Grandma came into my room and approached my desk. 

It wasn't a very smart move, I know, but when I saw my grandmother nearing me, I choked. All I could think to do was to hide my teacher's report as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, my obvious, frenzied shuffling was spotted immediately by Grandma, arousing her suspicions. 

"What are you hiding?" 

"Nothin'. I was just...moving stuff around." 

"Uh huh. Then you won't mind if I take a look?" 

I was stuck. I couldn't say 'yes, I do mind' or I'd be admitting to hiding something. So, I sat there silently, on tenterhooks, waiting for her to find it. 

Without saying anything, Grandma picked up the report and started to read it. I watched the expression on her face change from curiosity to alarm to anger. And then she turned that look of anger to me. 

"Why didn't you give this to me when you got home from school?" she asked, holding the report up to me. 

"Um, I was gonna give it to you after dinner, Ma'am," I mumbled, afraid to meet her eyes. 

"It wasn't going to be any easier to do it then than it would've been earlier." 

I didn't reply. I just gave her my best penitent face and silently said my prayers. As much as I knew she wouldn't literally kill me, I also knew she could make things very unpleasant for me. 

"Is what I read here true, Ben? Did you assault a student without provocation?" 

I nodded and hung my head. 

Grandma folded the report and placed it in her apron pocket. After torturing me with a few seconds of silence she stated, "I'm going to go eat my dinner while it's still warm. I want you to see me in the study in an hour. In the meantime, don't leave this room." 

I swallowed hard and nodded my understanding of her directive. She hadn't even raised her voice to me, but it was apparent that she was quite upset. After she left the room, I tried to turn my attention to my homework so I could forget about this whole mess temporarily, but I was unable to concentrate. Although I felt somewhat relieved that the cat was out of the bag, I had yet to deal with my grandmother. Or, rather, she had yet to deal with me. Fairly, no doubt, but I didn't really want to be dealt with fairly. I knew I had been totally in the wrong. 

As I pushed my school book aside, I had a fleeting idea that I would drop it down my pants before going to the study, but when I experimented with that idea, I soon realized it wouldn't work. Aside from the fact that it was awkward to have a textbook down your drawers, it was also far too obvious. It would've been spotted the second I walked into the room. 

I curled up on my bed and closed my eyes tightly, hoping that by some miracle I would fall asleep and awake to find that this day from hell had all been a dream. 

* * *

I awakened to find my room in total darkness. For a second I thought it was the middle of the night and I'd just woken from a nightmare. But then I noticed I was still fully-dressed, although someone had covered me with a blanket, and the reality of my nightmarish day came flooding back upon my consciousness. 

Through the crack under my bedroom door, I could see that there was a light on in the outer room, so I quietly got out of bed and crept to the door. The hinges creaked a little as I pulled the door open just far enough to allow me to see into the other room. Grandpa faced me as he sat in his easy chair, reading a magazine, while Grandma was on the sofa, across from him, reading a book. 

My heart was suddenly in my throat when Grandpa glanced up from his reading and saw me peeking out from behind my bedroom door. His eyes quickly turned to Grandma and then back to me, almost as if he was as afraid of her spying me as I was. As Grandpa continued to sit there, watching me but refraining from audibly acknowledging my presence, my fear began to subside. Not that it disappeared altogether, mind you, but I now felt that perhaps the world wasn't going to come to an end because I had misbehaved. Grandpa, at least, was apparently still my friend. 

Well, I was going to have to face the music sooner or later and, as Grandma had said, it wasn't going to get any easier by putting it off. But I decided it couldn't hurt to have a little back-up, so to speak. I ran to my closet and grabbed a sweatshirt and then stuffed it down the back of my pants, trying to make it look as natural as possible. I took another peek into the living room and, after a deep sigh, tip-toed across the room until I stood between Grandma and Grandpa. I looked Grandpa in the eye and he responded with an encouraging hint of a smile. 

"Did you have a nice nap?" Grandma asked calmly. 

I nodded ever-so-slightly, as I wasn't quite sure whether her query was sincere or if she was irritated with me for my tardiness. "I'm sorry, Ma'am. I didn't mean to fall asleep. Am I late?" 

"No harm done. It just gave your grandpa and me more time to think about this." 

*Oh dear! That can't be a good thing!* I feared. "How come you didn't wake me up?" 

"Oh, I don't know, honey. I guess I wasn't any more anxious for this meeting than you were." She paused and gazed at me as though she were trying to read me. "I'm having difficulty believing that the little angel I found sleeping in your bed would ever instigate an act of violence such as the one described in your teacher's report." 

I wanted to set her straight -- to tell her that I wasn't an angel. But I knew it wasn't the time to be correcting my grandmother. Instead, I opted to make an immediate attempt to convince her that I was a reformed boy. "I'm not ever gonna punch the other kids again, Ma'am. I promise." 

"Why did you hit that boy today?" she asked as she put down her book, then removed her eyeglasses and placed them on top of the book. 

"I dunno." 

"If you can't tell me why you did it, I can't take your word that you won't do it again." 

"But I won't, Grandma. I swear to God I won't." 

"How do you know that?" 

"Huh?" 

"Something obviously made you do it today. How do you know that same something won't convince you to do it again some day?" 

"Well, 'cause if I do, I'll get sent to the principal and I don't wanna get sent to the principal, Ma'am." 

"No, I'm sure you don't. Is that the only reason?" 

"Um, no, Ma'am..." 

"What else?" 

"Um...it's not nice to bully people." 

"Didn't you know that before you punched the boy?" 

"Yes, Ma'am," I admitted softly. 

"Then why did you do it?" She meant business. She was not going to give up until she got an answer to that question. 

"I told you I don't know," I whined. 

"I know you did. I don't believe you." 

"But I'm not lying..." 

"That's not what I mean, honey. I don't think you're giving this the kind of thought you should be giving it. A boy doesn't just go around punching other boys if he doesn't have a reason. Does he?" 

"I don't know. Maybe." 

"Think about it. I want to know your reason, Ben, and I want to know it now." 

Well, my reason for assaulting Innusiq wasn't something I had actually consciously pondered before that moment. When he had been introduced to our class that day as a new student, the realization had struck me that finally I wasn't the new kid on the block. I had seniority over someone and I used it in a desperate attempt to establish some sort of reputation for myself. Grandma was right. I hadn't thought about it, or I'd have been too ashamed to use Innusiq so selfishly. 

"Ben, did you hear me?" 

"I'm thinking, Grandma." 

My grandmother was silent for a while, giving me time to consider my answer. She did start to lose patience, however, as time passed and my explanation was not offered. 

"If you have that much to think about, perhaps you should return to your room until you're prepared to explain yourself." 

"I'm trying to, but I don't know how to explain it." 

"Just say whatever's on your mind. Then we'll sort out any confusion." 

I took a deep breath and nodded and then spit out the most succinct explanation I could think of. "I wanted to be the boss of somebody, I guess." 

Grandma cocked her head at me and asked "And you think that by bullying that boy you have established yourself as his 'boss'?" 

"That's how other, um, kids do it." I would have included adults in this, but I chickened out. "If you make someone afraid of you, they hafta do whatever you say." 

"Oh dear." Grandma shook her head in dismay. "It breaks my heart to hear you say such things." 

"I'm sorry. I didn't wanna break your heart." But I had. She didn't seem mad at me any more. Just sad. 

"Do you honestly want other people to be afraid of you so they'll do what you want them to do?" 

"I dunno. Not everybody, I guess. But I never get to boss anybody. Everyone else is always the boss of me." 

"I see." Grandma got up from the sofa and approached me, and I was resigned to being escorted to the study. Instead, she crouched before me and said "Thank you for your honesty, honey." 

"You're welcome, Ma'am." 

"We're going to have to have a very long talk about this later. But for now, I'd like to know how you feel about what you did." 

"Not very good." I hung my head in shame, and Grandma ran her fingers through my hair, pushing it back off my face. 

"That's encouraging, but I hope it's not just the fear of retribution talking." 

"Miss Beers already punished me, Ma'am." *So you don't have to,* I tried to add with my eyes. 

"I know she did. I read her report. As did you, eh?" 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"Even though it was addressed to your grandpa and me and you were supposed to give it to us in the sealed envelope?" 

I gave a slight nod of my head and looked at her expectantly. 

"You've made some very poor choices today, Ben." 

"I know. I wish I could do today over." 

"Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Once we decide to do something, we're usually stuck with the consequences. But that's why God gave us brains," she said as she knocked her knuckles on my forehead and winked. "So we can think before we act." 

"I guess I forgot that." 

"I guess you did." 

"I'll use my brains next time. I will." 

"God and I would both appreciate that." She let a half-smile cross her face and I responded likewise. "Have you apologized to the boy you hit?" 

"No, not yet. He, um, he went home 'cause I gave him a bloody nose." 

"Hmm. First thing tomorrow you will tell him you're sorry. Understand?" 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"And since he's new to the class, it would be nice if you'd make him feel welcome." It was obviously an order, not a suggestion. 

"How?" 

"I'm sure you can find a way. Now, go to bed, Ben," she ordered as she stood up. 

"Now?" 

"Now." 

I hesitated. "But it's not my bed time." 

"It is if I say it is." 

"I just took a nap. I'm not tired yet." I don't know what possessed me to argue with her like that. I must have been out of my mind. I should have been grateful that she was apparently sparing me the punishment I had expected. Perhaps that was it. Perhaps I felt untouchable, invincible. 

Grandma began to show a little impatience. "That's fine," she sighed. "You can just lie there and consider what has happened today and what we've talked about." 

"Oh. Can I do my homework, too?" 

"You haven't done your homework yet?" 

"No, Ma'am." 

"What were you doing all afternoon?" she snapped. 

"Thinking." 

"And worrying?" Grandpa suddenly interjected. 

"Yes, Sir." 

"Woulda made more sense to come to us sooner. Worrying about it didn't get you anywhere, did it?" he asked. 

"No, Sir. Just gave me a stomach ache." 

"Ah. Feel better now?" 

"Uh huh. I think so. 'Cept..." 

"Except what?" Grandpa asked. 

"Except...um...Innusiq probably doesn't feel better." I was ashamed to realize I hadn't given him a thought all afternoon. I'd only been worried about my own troubles. 

"No, probably not." I wished he would say something else, something to ease my mind a little. But he didn't. 

"Okay, you may go do your homework," Grandma dismissed me. 

"Thank you, Ma'am." 

"And, Ben, if I ever hear of you repeating this behavior, there will be consequences. Understand?" 

"Yes, Ma'am," I mumbled with a nod of my head. I turned to leave the room, but was stopped by Grandma almost immediately, as she grabbed hold of the back of my shirt and lifted it slightly. 

"Um, honey, what's that?" 

"What's what, Grandma?" I couldn't see what she was pointing at, but I had a fair idea that she had noticed the sudden change in the way my rear-end filled my jeans. 

"This, Ben, back here." She gave a quick pat to the seat of my pants. 

"My butt, Ma'am?" I whispered and fully expected and deserved the glare of irritation my sarcasm evoked from her. 

"Do I have to look for myself?" she threatened. 

I shook my head and slowly reached down the back of my jeans and pulled out the sweatshirt I had stuffed down there. Boy, how humiliating! I almost would've rather had a spanking. 

"Put that back where it belongs, please," Grandma instructed in a steady voice. I wasn't sure, but I thought she was struggling to hold back a smile. I'd expected her to be angry at me for trying to deceive her, but much to my surprise and relief, she appeared to be proud of me. One thing I didn't yet understand about my grandmother was that she wanted me to possess the courage and skill to stand up for myself. She never discouraged me from speaking my mind, provided I did so without being rude or defiant, which wasn't always easy for a young boy. However, Grandma was a good teacher with patience to spare, so, except for those few occasions when I stubbornly refused to be ruled, I gained this skill without the need for Grandma to impose penalties. I suppose she viewed the stuffing of my trousers as an act of self-preservation which was not intended to challenge her authority over me. 

"Yes, Ma'am." I ran to my room quite willingly and heard Grandma call out after me "I'll bring you a sandwich." 

* * *

The next morning, I sat against a tree at the edge of the woods beyond the school, watching from this safe distance as all the kids congregated outside to socialize before the school day began. When Innusiq arrived, a hush fell over the assembly as they all watched him go directly inside the building. Even from where I sat, I could tell how self-consciously uncomfortable Innusiq felt to be the object of our classmates' whispers and finger-pointing, but bearing the responsibility for this did not fill me with the sense of power I had anticipated. Quite to the contrary, I hated myself at that moment and I didn't think there was any way I'd be able to face Innusiq or the class again. 

"Well, Mountie-Boy!" 

I jumped at the sound of the voice behind me, but was relieved when I realized it was only Eric who had found me. 

"Hi," I answered with my back to him. 

"What're you doing here, Mountie-Boy?" 

"Nothing." 

"Better get a move-on, or you'll be late for school." 

"I'm not goin'." 

"Not going? Perfect little Mountie-Boy is playing hooky?" 

"Don't call me that, Eric. I'm not a Mountie, and I'm not perfect." 

"The 'little' is right, though, eh?" 

Inside my head I shot back with *Fuck you!*, but the only words that escaped my mouth were "Go away!" 

"Ooh, touchy this morning, are we?" 

"Just leave me alone." I looked up at him with pleading eyes and added "Okay?" 

"No problem Mountie...uh, Fraser." And he walked away down the hill, yelling back to me, "Watch out. You'll get yourself in big trouble." 

* * *

About fifteen minutes after school had been called into session, I saw Mrs. Beers exit the building and, after a glance in my direction, start up the hill to the edge of the woods where I sat. I considered running away, but then I realized I actually wanted to talk to her. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I was sure she'd come through with the gentle, understanding words she always had when something was bothering me. 

"Mister Fraser!" she snapped as she came to stand in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest. "Do I need to take additional disciplinary measures with you?" 

Those weren't the gentle, understanding words I'd had in mind. 

"No, Ma'am." 

"Did you not hear the bell?" 

"Yes, Ma'am, I did." 

"Then why are you sitting out here when you should be in your seat in my classroom?" 

I shrugged my shoulders. 

"Stand up!" she ordered, and I quickly obeyed, standing with my head bowed and my hands clasped nervously behind my back. "Come inside, Ben." 

"I can't, Ma'am." 

She was not at all pleased with that answer. She sighed then placed her hands firmly on my shoulders and leaned in slightly to scold me. "What's gotten into you, Ben? Your conduct these past two days leaves much to be desired. If this is a sign of your plans for this term, then perhaps we should pay a visit to the principal right now and see if we can't nip this behavior in the bud." 

"No, Ma'am, please. May I go home instead?" 

"No, you may not. Not until I know what this is all about." 

"I don't feel well, Ma'am." Well...I didn't. 

Mrs. Beers felt my face to check for fever and looked at me skeptically. "Where don't you feel well, honey?" 

"I dunno. All over, pretty much." 

"Okay, I'll take you to see the nurse. Come." She tried to guide me toward the school, but I resisted her. 

"My grandma can take care of me, Ma'am." 

"Yes, maybe that is a better idea. I'll walk you home and then your grandmother and I can have a little chat." 

*Advantage Mrs. Beers...* 

"But don't you have to go back to the class, Ma'am?" 

"Don't you worry about the class. I've seen to that already. You are my primary concern at the moment." 

I hesitated as I tried to figure out what to say next. This was not going as I had hoped. 

"Lead the way, Ben." 

"I can walk home by myself, Ma'am." 

"No. If you're sick, I'd prefer to go with you." 

"I'm not that sick, Ma'am." 

"Oh? How sick are you, then?" 

"I dunno." I had no idea how sick would be sick enough to go home but without accompaniment. 

"I see. Well, before you go, don't you have something for me?" 

"Huh?" 

"The report of yesterday's incident which I sent home with you for your grandparents. Did you bring it back for me with a signature as I instructed?" 

"Oh. Yeah. Yes, Ma'am." I dug around in the pocket of my back pack and pulled out the envelope. Mrs. Beers took it from me and opened it as I watched, still anxious to be dismissed. 

After she had read it, she refolded the report and placed it back in the envelope. "Thank you, Ben. I trust such reports will not be necessary in the future?" 

"No, Ma'am." 

"Good. Now, there's one more thing I think you should do before you go home." 

"What's that, Ma'am?" 

"Apologize to Innusiq." 

The blood in my veins froze. "Can I do that -- " I started to ask. 

"May I do that..." she corrected my grammar. 

"...May I do that tomorrow, Ma'am?" 

"Your grandmother specifically states in her reply to my report that she's expecting you to do it today -- first thing." 

*Darn!* I hadn't read Grandma's response. I had wanted to do the right thing, and it was backfiring on me already. 

"What do you suppose she'll have to say if you go home to her now, not having done so?" 

Well, I'd reckoned I could conveniently leave out that admission, but I wasn't going to tell that to my teacher. "She'll be pretty mad at me, I guess." 

"Then hadn't you best do as she wishes?" 

I didn't answer. I was trying to stall the inevitable. 

"I asked you a question, Ben." 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"Yes, Ma'am, what?" 

"I want to apologize, Ma'am, but..." 

"There's no time for 'buts' when you owe someone an apology." 

*Darn, she sounds like Grandma!* 

"I'm ashamed, Ma'am." 

"And so you should be," she answered, not in an accusatory tone, but to let me know that what I was feeling was normal. "But if you let that keep you from apologizing, you're showing more concern for your own feelings than you are for the person you harmed. And, in my view, that's just as shame worthy as was hitting Innusiq in the first place." 

That was just what I needed to hear. She had put everything into perspective for me and I suddenly believed that maybe I could face Innusiq and apologize. 

"Understood, Ma'am." I smiled at her and was happy to see her smile back. She then turned and began to walk toward the school, and I followed. 

* * *

The teacher stopped me as we reached the classroom and spoke to me quietly in the hallway. "Go straight to Innusiq and say what you have to say." 

"Right now?" 

"Right now." 

"In front of everybody?" 

"Don't you think the rest of the class deserves to hear it as much as Innusiq?" 

"I didn't punch anybody else except him." 

"No, but you behaved poorly and disrupted everyone's recess. They need to know you won't do it again." 

I scowled and hung my head. This apology business was becoming more difficult with each passing minute. *Why hadn't I come in early and apologized to Innusiq privately before class?* I chastised myself. 

Mrs. Beers turned me toward the door and nudged me forward. I opened the door and entered the room to find Eric seated at the teacher's desk and the kids silently reading. *So, it was Eric who had turned me in to Miss Beers! I'm gonna have to give him a piece of my mind later!* 

"Go ahead, Benton," Mrs. Beers interrupted my thoughts, and I became well aware that all eyes were on me as I approached Innusiq's desk. I wanted to bolt from the room when he looked up at me and I got my first close look at the damage I had inflicted on his face with my fist. His nose and left eye were purple and swollen, and there was a small cut under his right eye where my thumbnail had broken his skin. 

I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't. It was painfully dry, so I endeavored to produce enough saliva to allow me to speak, running my tongue back and forth along the inside of my mouth and then across my lips. 

"Eric, thank you. You may return to your seat," Mrs. Beers said as she resumed her spot behind her desk and allowed me to work my way through this tough situation. 

Eric brushed against me on his way to his seat and whispered so no one else would hear, "Quick, Mountie-Boy. It's easier that way." I watched him walk to his desk and caught his wink as he sat down. 

"Ben?" Mrs. Beers' patience was wearing thin. I looked at her without saying anything, and she asked, "Are you all right?" I nodded in response, and she motioned for me to turn to Innusiq. "We have work to do, Benton. Say your peace, please, so we can all move on." 

I nodded again, gave my lips another brush with my tongue, and proceeded. "Hi, Innusiq." 

"Hi." He looked as uncomfortable as I felt. 

"Um... I'm, um...yesterday...um -- " 

"Complete sentences, please, Ben." She probably didn't mean this as a correction as much as a way to help me focus on what I needed to say. 

"Yes, Ma'am." I blushed. How I was wishing for the days of Grandma's private tutoring in Alert! "I'm sorry I punched you, and, um, was mean to you. I won't anymore." I couldn't even look him in the eye, but averted my glance. Now I just waited anxiously for his reaction. 

"Okay...Mountie-Boy," I finally heard him reply. Shocked to hear that phrase from his mouth, I stared at him in wonder, until I heard giggling and turned my head to see Eric unsuccessfully trying to suppress a laugh. Innusiq joined him seconds later, and soon the whole class had erupted into howls of laughter. 

I didn't know what to think. There had been a time when Eric would have reveled in making life miserable for me, but we had since become friends, so I couldn't believe that he had instigated this to humiliate me. 

Mrs. Beers came over to me and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Settle down, class!" she yelled over the laughter, to little immediate effect. She then leaned down and told me to take my seat. 

"Please, Ma'am, can I...may I go?" 

"Home?" 

"Uh huh." I was horrified to discover that tears were forming in my eyes. 

Mrs. Beers rubbed my shoulders and thought for a moment. "Wait out in the hall, Ben. I'll be with you in a minute." 

I nodded and retreated quickly, although I left the door opened a crack so that I could listen to what was said in the classroom. 

"Silence, please!" I heard Mrs. Beers shout with authority, and gradually the laughter subsided until the room was dead silent. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" she scolded them. "Your classmate was attempting to tell Innusiq, and all of you, how sorry he is for what he did here yesterday. To poke fun at his expense at a time like that is inexcusable! And you should all know that. Most of you are quite a bit older than Ben. You should be trying to help him fit in, not..." 

"Excuse me, Ma'am..." Eric's voice suddenly cut her off in mid-reprimand. 

"I was speaking, Eric!" 

You know how your teacher acts right before she loses the last ounce of her patience and decides to punish the whole class? That was how Mrs. Beers sounded at that moment. Boy, was I glad I wasn't in Eric's shoes! 

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry. But this was all my doing." 

"I see. Going back to your old ways with Ben, are you?" 

"No, Ma'am. It was meant as a joke, Ma'am." 

"A joke?" 

"Yes. To make everyone laugh and cut the tension." 

"Ben isn't laughing." 

"Yes, Ma'am, I noticed. I thought he would know it was a joke because I call him Mountie-Boy all the time and he knows I'm just teasing him. We were only trying to teach him a lesson. You know, give him a hard time. We didn't mean any harm." 

"Listen, everyone, and you especially, Innusiq. There is no doubt that Ben was wrong to behave the way he did yesterday, and you have every right to be angry with him. But he was trying to tell you how deeply he regrets his actions. Now, I'm sorry, but I would have to say that for him to be laughed at, not only by you and his best friend, but by the entire class, when he was attempting to make amends, is unduly harsh punishment." 

You could've heard a pin drop in that room. I peeked in and saw Mrs. Beers pacing among the desks, wearing a frown of dissatisfaction, and all the kids hanging their heads. I thought Eric spotted me when he glanced at the door, so I quickly stepped back into the hallway. 

"Ma'am," Eric spoke once again. "May I go talk to him?" 

"Yes, Eric, you may. The rest of us will sit quietly and wait for the two of you to rejoin us." 

"Wait. Miss Beers, please." I thought it was Innusiq speaking, although I wasn't sure of his voice yet. 

"What is it, Innusiq?" 

"May I go, too, Ma'am?" 

"You have something to say to Ben?" she asked him. 

"Uh huh. I think so, Ma'am." 

"I don't want to have to come out there and break up a fight." 

"I'm not gonna fight with him, Ma'am." 

"If you do, I will personally escort the two of you down to the principal's office. Make sure Ben understands that, as well." 

"Okay, Ma'am." 

"All right. You may go, but, um, Eric, you'd better stay here." 

"But, Ma'am..." 

"There'll be plenty of time for you to square things with Ben later, Eric. Sit down, please." 

The room was silent except for the sound of Innusiq's steps as I waited for him in the hall. I wished Mrs. Beers had sent Eric to me instead. I would've felt much more comfortable facing him at that moment. 

I wiped my face to remove all traces of the tears I had shed. What would Innusiq have thought to have found the boy who had bullied him so roughly the day before now bawling his eyes out because the kids had laughed at him? I wouldn't have had to worry about that with Eric. He'd seen me cry. He'd seen me scared. He'd seen me angry. I would have given him grief for instigating the joke on me, and he would have dressed me down for not laughing right along with them. 

Innusiq stepped into the hall and shut the door to the classroom, then leaned back against the wall. He obviously wanted to keep his distance from me. 

"Miss Beers said I should come out here, too," he explained, almost as if he was trying to connect with me in some way. 

"Oh." I averted my eyes and shuffled my feet, hoping he would have something else to say -- anything. 

"So I guess we're even now, eh?" he asked. 

"Whaddaya mean?" 

"You called me a name yesterday, and I called you one today. So we're even." 

"Oh, yeah, I guess." He was ignoring a rather obvious difference, however. "You didn't...um...punch me, though." 

"No." 

"D'you wanna?" 

"Huh?" 

"You could punch me now and then we'd really be even. Even Steven." 

Innusiq looked around and then at his feet. "Naw, I'd better not. We'd get in trouble for fighting. Miss Beers said so." 

"Yeah, okay." We were silent for a few seconds, until I had a bright idea. "You could do it later, after school. At my house. We have a shed. Nobody'd see us there." 

"You want me to come to your house and punch you?" 

"If you wanna." 

"You're weird. Most guys don't ask another guy to punch him." 

"Okay, forget it," I replied, embarrassed. *Great! Now even the new guy thinks I'm weird!* 

"No, no, no. You already said it. You can't take it back now." 

"You mean you wanna do it?" 

"Sure...Mountie-Boy!" The sides of his mouth turned up as he said this and gave him away. 

"Okay, In-you-stink," I answered with a grin. I had a new friend. A new friend who had just agreed to punch me in the face after school. *Something's wrong with this picture,* I thought to myself as we returned to the classroom together. 

* * *

Mrs. Beers sat at her desk, hands folded before her, as the kids filed out of the room at the finish of the school day. Earlier, she had ordered me, Eric, and Innusiq to remain after the bell, so we sat still, stealing glances at each other as if to offer moral support. I'd never had to stay after school before and, although I was a bit anxious about it, I also found it kind of thrilling. The three of us were bound together by this shared adventure -- albeit an inauspicious one. I wasn't so alone anymore. 

Once the room was empty but for us, Mrs. Beers got up and stood before us. "I'll be right back, boys. Sit there quietly until I return." 

"Where're you going, Ma'am?" I piped up before I could think better of it. Apparently, being part of a 'gang' had gone to my head and I had no fear. Nor good judgment. 

"Not that it's any of your beeswax, Mister Nosey Parker..." she began, only to be interrupted by Innusiq's uncontrolled giggles. "What's the joke, Innusiq?" 

"Nothing, Ma'am," he answered, bringing himself under control. "There isn't one." 

"Good. Then, if none of you have any objections, I will go to the washroom for a minute, and then I will be back to deal with the three of you. Don't move from your chairs or open your mouths while I'm gone." 

We all gave her our silent, sober agreement, and she left the room. No sooner had the sound of her footsteps disappeared, than we all exploded in violent laughter. 

"Shh!" I attempted to quiet them despite my own giggles. "We're supposed to be being quiet!" This was a new experience for me -- to participate in group disobedience of an authority. It was oddly terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. 

"Oh, that's right," Eric agreed sarcastically, as he put on an obviously forced serious face, and Innusiq and I watched to see how long he could hold it. Not very long. "Mister Nosey Parker!" he finally let out with a guffaw, unable to restrain himself. 

Innusiq was in stitches again immediately, and I even joined in the merriment at my new nickname. 

"That's even better than 'Mountie-Boy'!" Innusiq squealed. 

"Yeah! 'None of your beeswax, Mister Nosey Parker'!" Eric mimicked loudly. "Perfect name for a big-mouth like little smart-ass Mountie-Boy! Eh, Fraser?" 

"Me? What about you?" 

"What about me?" 

"You told Miss Beers where I was this morning so she'd come after me." 

"Oh, that, yeah. Well, I warned you, didn't I? I told you you were gonna get in trouble for skipping school." 

"Sure, 'cause of your big mouth!" 

"Hey, who are you calling 'big mouth'?" 

"You!" 

"You wanna come over here and say that to my face, scrawny-butt?" 

"Yeah, I do!" 

"Hey, guys," Innusiq tried to intervene. He didn't understand yet that Eric and I were just having fun. 

"It's okay, Innusiq," I assured him as I got up from my seat. "I'm gonna beat his f- freakin' big ass!" I declared proudly while making my way across the room toward Eric. Ordinarily, I didn't use such language, but when I was around Eric I sometimes let an objectionable word or two slip. I was darn lucky that I'd restrained myself from calling him a 'fucking big ass' as had been my first impulse, because, unbeknownst to us, Mrs. Beers had entered the room just as I was running at the mouth. 

"Benton Fraser!" 

I froze in my steps as I heard my formal name echo throughout the room. *Please, God, don't let Miss Beers have heard what I just said!* 

"Uh-oh!" I saw Eric mumble as I faced him with my back to Mrs. Beers. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. 

"Benton, did I not tell you boys to sit quietly while I was away?" 

"Um, er, yes, Ma'am," I mumbled. 

"Then what are you doing out of your seat?" 

"Nothin', Ma'am." 

"Come over here," she directed, and I turned and saw her standing next to Innusiq's desk. I approached her with trepidation, avoiding her eyes. "Now, would you please repeat what you were saying as I came into the room?" 

"Huh?" I looked at her in amazement. 

"You heard me." 

"You want me to say it again, Ma'am?" 

"Is there some reason you shouldn't say it again?" 

"I'm not supposed to talk like that, Ma'am." 

"Oh, I see. But it was okay when you thought I wasn't here to hear you?" 

Actually, I did, but I wasn't about to tell her that. So I didn't answer. 

"Do your grandparents allow you to speak that way at home?" 

"Oh, gosh, no, Ma'am!" I shuddered at the thought and was struck with the fear that Mrs. Beers was going to report me to them. "They'd kill me." 

"I doubt that, but I imagine they wouldn't be very pleased." 

"They'd kill me," I repeated insistently. 

Her facial expression softened and she leaned in close to me. "In that case, I guess we'd better not tell them about this incident, eh? This class certainly wouldn't be the same without you." 

"It wouldn't?" 

Mrs. Beers pinched my cheeks tightly. "But I want you to promise me you'll watch your mouth more closely in the future." 

"I promise, Ma'am," I vowed through her vise-like grip. "I swear. I double swear..." 

"All right, all right. That's sufficient, Ben." She released my face, and I opened my mouth wide to stretch the muscles back into their normal position. 

"Thank you, Ma'am." 

"Take a seat," she said, indicating the desk next to Innusiq. She kept her eyes fixed on me sternly as a silent reprimand as I did so. "Eric, you too. Come sit up here with your partners in crime." 

Eric knocked me playfully on the head with his fist as he sat beside me, and I flashed him a grin. I felt like I had a big brother. Someone to fight with. Someone to play with. Someone to get into trouble with. Someone to help me find my way. 

"Okay, you three...musketeers." 

I smiled at that moniker, but quickly lost the smile when I looked at Mrs. Beers and saw her frowning at me. 

"What do I have to do with you boys to ensure there will be no more disruptions to our class similar to today's and yesterday's?" 

We all hung our heads contritely and glanced sideways at each other, but none of us offered an answer to her question. 

"Ben?" 

"Yes, Ma'am?" 

"Would you answer my question, please." 

"Um...you don't have to do anything, Ma'am." Simple and to the point, I figured. 

"Hmm. Eric?" 

"Nothing, Ma'am." 

"Innusiq? I know you're new here, but do you have anything to add?" 

"I won't disrupt the class again, Ma'am." 

"Good. I'm glad to hear that, because that is not the way we behave here. Is it, Ben?" 

"Er, no, Ma'am." 

"How do we behave? Ben?" 

*Darn! Why did she keep picking on me?* 

"Huh?" 

"How do we treat our fellow students and teachers?" 

"Um...we're nice to 'em?" 

"Yes. What else...Eric?" 

"With respect and courtesy." 

"Good. And what do we do if someone says or does something we don't like?" 

A grin spread across my face from ear to ear as I wrestled with the temptation to blurt out "We kick 'em in the ass!" But Mrs. Beers had made it perfectly clear that I would be the one getting kicked if I ever spoke in such a manner again. 

"Is something funny, Ben?" she asked upon noticing my mirth. 

"No, Ma'am. I was just...thinking of something." 

"Would you care to share it with the rest of us?" 

"No, Ma'am. I might...um...get in trouble. It was a, um, a smart aleck answer that I was thinking." 

Eric chuckled to himself, and Mrs. Beers favored me with a scowl of disapproval. 

"Oh, I see. Then it was very wise of you to keep it to yourself." 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"You know, Ben, your openness is something I find very endearing \-- usually. However, at times, particularly of late, your responses can be dangerously close to insolence. Joking around is one thing, but there are times when it's more prudent not to do or say the first thing that comes to mind." 

"I know, Ma'am. My grandmother told me that last night when she was...um...yelling at me." 

"Did she?" 

"That's why God gave us brains, she said. So we can think first before we do something." 

"Exactly. It sounds like your grandmother gave you some very sound advice. But it's a painful lesson to learn the hard way, isn't it, honey?" 

"Uh huh." 

"Honey?" Eric sarcastically whispered to me under his breath. 

"Shut up!" I muttered back. 

"That's enough, boys." 

"You mean we can go, Ma'am?" Yes, I knew that wasn't what she'd meant, but I figured it was worth a shot. And, let's face it, my wise-cracking wasn't going to cease overnight. 

Mrs. Beers reacted to this with a cautionary smirk that told me I was really cruising for a bruising. "Nice try, Benton, but, no, that's not what I meant." 

I felt like I was sparring with my grandmother, only I wasn't exactly sure how far I could push the limits with Mrs. Beers. "Oh." I smiled coyly, and she continued to stare at me silently, as if daring me to say more. 

"What was I saying? Anyone?" 

I figured I'd better keep quiet for a while, and apparently Mrs. Beers agreed. 

"Innusiq, do you remember what I was saying?" 

"You were asking how we should behave to each other, Ma'am." 

"And Fraser was about to tell you what we do when someone pisses us off," Eric added, just to get my goat. 

"I was not!" I protested. 

"It's all right, Ben. I don't think I care to hear your initial thought. Why don't you tell me how you'd answer my question after using your brain to think about it first." 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"Well?" 

"I have to think about it first, Ma'am." 

"You must have some idea by now, surely." 

"No, Ma'am." I'm sure I could've come up with something if I'd tried, but I was too flustered to concentrate. "And my name's not Shirley," I added, under my breath. 

"Are you being obstinate with me, Mister?" 

Eric and Innusiq both started to giggle and I heard Eric mumble "Mister Shirley Obstinate." 

"Eric, be quiet. I'm speaking to Ben." Mrs. Beers was in no mood for jokes. "Well, Ben?" 

"I don't think so, Ma'am." 

"You can't think of anything to say in answer to my question?" she asked with exasperation. 

"Nope." 

"I find that hard to believe of a bright boy like you." 

I pouted and squirmed in my seat, refusing to look at her. "Guess I'm not that bright." 

Mrs. Beers took her time before responding. She really was trying to be patient with me, despite my increasing defiance. "Benton? What's the matter?" 

"You're picking on me, Ma'am," I whined. 

"By asking you a question?" 

"Ask someone else. You always ask me first." 

"Always?" 

I didn't reply. I was sulking. 

"Ben, go sit at my desk and wait for me. We're going to have to finish this privately." 

"But..." 

"Unless you'd rather speak to the principal instead?" 

Without looking at anyone, I slowly got up and went across the room to the teacher's desk and sat down. I had to wipe a few tears from my eyes. Mrs. Beers had always seemed like a friend to me. Truth be told, I actually had a little crush on her and fantasized that she felt the same about me. But that afternoon I feared she no longer liked me as she had. My tears were tears of desperation for a way to fix that. 

As I sat there brooding, I picked up a pencil from the desk and absent-mindedly took out my frustrations on it until it broke in half. Fearing that Mrs. Beers would think I did it on purpose, I stuffed the broken pencil into the pocket of my trousers and vowed to myself that I'd find a way to replace it. I'd been trying to convince my grandmother for weeks that I needed an allowance. Perhaps if I stepped up my efforts, I could win a small concession from her. Enough for a pencil, perhaps. 

A few minutes later, Mrs. Beers dismissed Eric and Innusiq and then headed over to me. She did not look pleased. I prayed that whatever she had in store for me wouldn't include a report to my grandparents as I knew all too well that they had no tolerance for the contrary attitude I had taken with my teacher. And there was no way that misconduct reports two days in a row would be overlooked. 

"Now, Ben," she began as she sat on the edge of the desk and looked at me with her arms crossed in front of her. 

"I thought of one, Ma'am," I stated enthusiastically, hoping to impress her. 

"One what?" 

"An answer to your question." 

"Well, good. Let's hear it." 

"You count to ten and walk away. That's what my grandma says you gotta do when you're mad at someone. Count to ten and walk away." *Now, if Miss Beers will just do that, I'll be all set.* 

"That's a perfect answer, honey. I'm glad you thought of it. Your grandmother is a wise woman. Is that what she does when she's angry at someone?" 

"Sometimes. But other times, like if she's real mad at me, she...doesn't." 

Mrs. Beers laughed heartily and a great weight was lifted from my heart. "Benton Fraser, I've never had another student quite like you." 

"Really?" 

"Really. You can totally frustrate me one minute and make me laugh the next. It's...unnerving." 

"I'm sorry, Ma'am." 

"No, honey. I wasn't scolding you. It's refreshing. I always know how you're feeling, although not always why. If you're angry with me, you give me a hard time. If you're..." 

"I'm not ever angry at you, Ma'am." 

"Sure you are. You were angry with me a few minutes ago when you thought I was picking on you." 

I blushed wickedly and hung my head. I reckoned it was an unpardonable sin to be angry at an adult who had authority over you. Suddenly I felt Mrs. Beers' hand on my shoulder. 

"It's getting late. Would you walk me home, Ben? We can talk some more on the way if you'd like." 

I looked at her and nodded. I was rendered speechless by her sweetness toward me. She collected her things into a book bag then offered me her free hand, which I took happily into mine and then I jumped off the chair. Remembering Grandma's training on acting the perfect gentleman, I opened the door and allowed Mrs. Beers to pass through before I followed and closed the door behind us. After taking a few steps down the hall, I suddenly halted, horrified to realize that I had not offered to carry Mrs. Beers' book bag. 

"Um, Miss Beers?" 

"Yes, honey?" 

"May I carry your bag for you?" 

"Oh, it's quite heavy, Ben. Perhaps I should carry it." 

"It's not too heavy for me, Ma'am. I'm stronger than I look." 

She smiled at me and held out the bag. "Very well, dear. It's very kind of you. Thank you." 

As I took the bag, I was dismayed to discover just how heavy it was, but I determined I'd be able to handle it if I slung it over my shoulder. I must have been the proudest ten-year-old boy on Earth as we passed through the school's doors and into the yard. 

* * *

Mrs. Beers lived less than a mile from the school, in an apartment in the village. I could feel the very self-satisfied look on my face as we passed through town and I recognized some of my classmates hanging out. In the back of my mind I wondered if my grandparents would ever allow me to come into town after school to hang out with the other kids, but my excitement at strolling down the street with Mrs. Beers on my arm was more than sufficient recompense for the time being. 

I resisted engaging Mrs. Beers in conversation for fear I might say the wrong thing and spoil this pleasant excursion. She had said we would talk some more, but, before the inevitable reprimand began, I wanted to remind her of the obedient, polite boy I had been before the start of the second school term. We were well into our walk before Mrs. Beers broke the silence. 

"I'm glad you weren't so sick that you needed to go home today, Ben. Are you feeling much better than you were this morning?" 

"Uh huh." 

"So I guess you'll be at school when the bell rings tomorrow?" 

"Uh huh." I realized she was probably hoping for more of a response from me, but I found myself tongue-tied to be spending time with her outside of class. I did finally manage to think of one thing to say, however. "I'm sorry I caused so much trouble, Ma'am. I didn't wanna make you angry." 

"Oh, I don't know about that. I think maybe in a way, you did." 

"Huh? No, Ma'am. I swear I didn't. I would never want you to hate me." 

"Oh, my! That's not what you think, is it? That I hate you?" 

"I dunno. Maybe not when I was good. But I really messed things up." 

"Yes, you did. But wasn't that your intention?" 

"Whaddaya mean, Ma'am?" 

"The other kids can't call you a perfect little boy who never makes a mistake or gets into trouble anymore, can they? We've all seen that you can be quite the troublemaker if you put your mind to it." 

"Uh huh," I agreed, guiltily. 

"Feel less...lonely now?" 

"I'm used to that, Ma'am." 

Mrs. Beers moved closer and put her arm around me. "So, now what?" she asked. 

"Now what what, Ma'am?" 

"Who should I expect in my class tomorrow? Ben, the juvenile delinquent, or Ben, the perfect little boy who never gets into any trouble?" 

I looked at her and smiled shyly. I knew what I wanted to say, but didn't know if I dared. 

"You have a fresh remark on the tip of your tongue, haven't you?" she asked with half- hearted sternness. 

"Kinda," I blushed. 

"Well, then..." she replied before halting our walk and then slapping her hand across my cheek. It wasn't even a slap, really. It was more like a pat. Like what my grandmother always called a love pat. 

*Wow! A love pat from Miss Beers! This day is turning out so much better than yesterday!* 

"There. Is it gone?" she asked as I stood there touching my hand to my cheek and looking at her with anxious anticipation. 

"Uh huh." And that was the truth. I'd totally forgotten what we were talking about. 

"I didn't hurt you, did I, honey?" 

"No." I let go of my cheek and readjusted the bag over my shoulder and then we resumed walking. "Are you really mad at me, Ma'am, or were you just kidding?" 

"Mostly just kidding, honey..." 

"Oh, good," I let out a sigh of relief. 

"...with a little gentle warning, for good measure. I'd hate to see your good-natured quips become full-blown sassiness. Wouldn't you?" 

I shot Mrs. Beers a devious grin and retorted "Well, how 'bout half-blown sassiness, Ma'am?" I was giggling before she even pinched my cheek between her fingers and started playfully scolding me. 

"Why, you little imp! Your grandparents must be saints to put up with your fresh mouth! You children today are much too bold. If I'd ever spoken in such a manner to my teacher, I'd've received a good, old-fashioned paddling!" 

I knew she was only fooling with me and my joyful laughter at her teasing made it almost impossible to speak. "Then I guess you didn't have a very nice teacher, Ma'am!" I joked. 

Mrs. Beers laughed aloud and then released my cheek after giving it one last shake. "You're too clever for me, honey!" she said with a wink as she tapped me on the nose. 

I wished I could give her a big hug like the ones I gave Grandma whenever she made me feel better. Instead I just stared at her and smiled. 

"Perhaps you can find some middle ground, eh? Somewhere between the juvenile delinquent and the perfect boy?" she suggested sweetly. 

"Okay, Ma'am. Kinda like a perfect delinquent, you mean?" 

"Exactly!" She grinned and held out her hand to me. "That's my apartment right over there," she said, nodding in the direction of her building. "I'll race you." 

I grabbed onto her hand and we ran the final fifty meters. I'd never seen a teacher run like that before. Or any adult, for that matter. Not just for fun. I knew I'd liked Mrs. Beers for a reason. She remembered what it was like to be a kid. And she remembered how to have fun. 

Now Grandma was a different matter. Although she almost always seemed to know what I needed to hear, I don't think she was remembering being a kid. After all, she was a lot older than Mrs. Beers. I think she was remembering raising a kid. At least, that's what she always used to tell me. 'You're just like your father was. It's like I'm raising him all over again.' I always laughed when I tried to picture my dad as a kid. And then I'd think 'Yeah, I bet he was a lot like me!' Even as an adult, he still had a lot of the imp in him. 

"Well, dear, this is it," she panted in exhaustion from the sprint. "I'll take my bag back now." 

"I better take it inside for you, Ma'am. That's what a proper gentleman does." 

"Your grandmother teach you that?" she asked. 

"Uh huh. And she'll tan my hide if I don't treat you like a lady, Ma'am." 

"Oh dear, well, then you'd better carry that in for me, young gentleman." 

As she opened the door, a smile of satisfaction crossed my face. I was actually going to see where Mrs. Beers lived! I don't know what I thought was going to happen once we got inside...well, yes, I do. She'd probably offer me some tea or milk and maybe a cookie and we'd sit around her kitchen table and engage in small talk. And then, I had this fantasy that when I got up to leave, she'd give me a kiss. On the cheek probably, but I might venture to kiss her cheek as well. 

"Hey, Mister Nosey Parker Mountie-Boy!" Eric and Innusiq must have followed us and now they were about to ruin my afternoon with Mrs. Beers. 

"I think someone's calling you, Ben," Mrs. Beers said. I tried to enter the building, but she held me back until the boys caught up to us. 

"Hello Ma'am," Eric greeted her. "We were just looking for Ben. Are you done with him?" 

"No!" I insisted at the same time as Mrs. Beers answered, "Yes, I'm finished with him, boys." 

"But, Ma'am " I argued, only to be cut off by her. 

"Thank you for seeing me home, Ben. You may go with your friends now." 

"But, your bag, Ma'am. I have to carry it in for you." 

Mrs. Beers took the bag from my shoulder and slung it over her own. "Don't worry, honey -- uh, Ben. If your grandmother asks, I'll tell her you carried it into the apartment." She smiled and offered her hand, and when I clasped my hand onto hers, she shook it affectionately. It wasn't a kiss on the cheek, but I felt a lot of love in that handshake and I swore to myself I'd never wash that hand again. "Good-bye boys. I'll see you all at school in the morning." 

After we all offered our good-byes, she turned to go into the building, but I couldn't let her go just yet. It wasn't just because I was in love and didn't want to leave her. I was being plagued by a guilty conscience and had to come clean to her. "Miss Beers," I called her back. 

"Yes, Ben?" 

"I, um, have to show you something." As she watched with curiosity, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the halved pencil I had taken from her desk and held it out to her. 

"Why are you showing me a broken pencil, honey?" 

"Because it's yours, Ma'am. It was on your desk and I, um, broke it." 

"You broke it?" 

"But not on purpose. Honest, Ma'am. It just kinda happened, on accident." 

"Accidentally." 

"Accidentally," I repeated her correction. 

"Well, those things happen sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you." 

"I'm gonna get you a new one, Ma'am. I promise." 

"Oh, that won't be necessary, Ben. You already got me a new one." 

"I did?" 

"Sure. I used to have one pencil. Now I've got two." 

* * *

I stormed past Eric and Innusiq and headed up into the woods toward home. I was aware that they were following me, but I refused to answer their calls and give them the satisfaction of my attention. I was fuming because, but for them, I might still have been with Mrs. Beers. Besides, it felt good to have two friends pursuing me as if I were one of the gang. It was a new experience for me, and I liked it. 

Just before I reached my house I allowed the boys to catch up to me. I knew if I went straight into the house, playtime would be over. Right after Grandma finished lecturing me for being so late getting home from school, she would've sent me to my room to start my homework. 

"Hey, Innusiq, I guess Mountie-Boy is chickening out, eh?" Eric said loud enough for me to hear. 

"I'm not chicken!" I turned and shouted back at them. 

"Ain't you?" Eric replied. 

"Chicken about what?" I asked, slightly embarrassed. 

"About letting Innusiq punch you back like you promised him he could." 

"Oh. I forgot about that." 

"Sure you did. That's why you ran off after school with Miss Beers," he taunted me. "You're a chicken brown-nosing little teacher's pet." 

"I am not. I walked her home 'cause I'm a gentleman, not 'cause I'm a chicken." 

"Prove it. Let him punch you now." 

I was telling the truth. I had forgotten my appointment with Innusiq. But at that moment, being faced with the reality of taking a punch, I did start to feel a twinge of cowardice. I was determined not to let it overtake me, however. My dad would never have forgiven me. I glanced at the house to make sure nobody might see us, then I walked over to stand in front of Innusiq. 

"Go ahead, Innusiq. You can punch me now." 

"You're sure?" 

"Uh huh." I scrunched up my face in preparation for the blow. 

"I won't get in trouble?" 

"Uh-uh. I won't tell. Go ahead before my grandma sees us." 

"Well, okay." 

And before I knew it, everything seemed to go black and my face was throbbing with pain. Once my vision returned, I noticed all the blood covering my hands when I lifted them away from my nose. 

"You okay, Ben?" Innusiq asked with concern. 

"Uh huh," I mumbled, still a bit dazed and uncertain what to do next. 

"You better take care of that before you bleed to death," Eric advised with his usual ironic wit. 

"My grandma'll have a heart attack if she sees all this blood," I said. 

Eric grabbed hold of me and led me to the house. We peeked through the window into the kitchen and, finding it empty, went inside and hurried over to the sink to clean up my face. 

"Ben! Is that you?" I heard Grandma call from another room. "Where've you been? I was just about to go out looking for you. I expected you home over an hour ago." 

I didn't answer. I was panicking. I didn't want my grandmother to see me yet. Not like that. So the three of us huddled over the sink, desperate to stop the blood that was still pouring from my nose. 

"Ben!" my grandmother repeated, louder. 

"Yes, Grandma," I finally called back. "I'm home." None of us heard my grandma enter the kitchen, as we were pre-occupied. "I'm just getting a drink of water before I go do my homework." 

"We do have glasses for that, honey," she replied and I suddenly became aware that she had pushed Eric and Innusiq aside and was now standing directly behind me. "Since when do we drink straight from the faucet in this house?" she scolded with an attention-getting smack to my behind before realizing the true situation. "What on God's green Earth...?" she exclaimed upon noticing the blood splattered against the sink. 

"It's just some blood, Grandma," I answered calmly, hoping to convince her it was nothing. 

"Yes, I can see that. Where did it come from?" 

"Um, my nose. I got a bloody nose." But stupid me didn't think far enough ahead. As soon as she saw my face, she was going to know there was more to it than that. 

Grandma took a rag and pinched my nose, which brought a shout of pain and an involuntary recoil from me. This roused her suspicions, so she firmly turned my head until my face was clearly visible to her. 

"Oh dear! What happened to you, honey?" she exclaimed as she gently took me close, bending my head back and holding the rag to my nose to catch the blood. 

"Nothin', Grandma. I'm okay." 

"Don't tell me nothing, Ben! I can see quite clearly that something happened!" She led me to the kitchen table and had me lie back in a chair and then went about getting a closer look at my wounds. "How'd this happen, sweetheart?" 

"Something hit me in the face," I offered feebly. 

"Obviously. Did you see what it was?" 

I tried to look at Eric and Innusiq, but Grandma pushed my head back as she attempted to control the bleeding. 

"I said, did you see what hit you, honey?" she repeated. 

"Uh huh. Kinda." 

"And what did you see?" 

"A hand." 

"A hand?" 

"A fist." 

"I see. Eric's fist?" 

"No, Ma'am." 

"Benton, I'm not in the mood to play guessing games. If you don't tell me what I want to know immediately, you will go to your room and stay there until you're ready to answer me." 

"I can't, Ma'am. I promised I wouldn't tell." 

"All right, then..." 

"It was me, Mrs. Fraser," Innusiq came to my rescue. "I punched him." 

Grandma relaxed her hold on my head, and I sat up so that I could finally see everyone. 

"Well, young man, and who might you be?" Grandma asked, almost as if just noticing his presence. "I don't believe we've met." 

"He's Innusiq, Grandma. The new boy at school." 

"Of course. I should have recognized you by the bruises. My grandson gave you those, I understand?" 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"Well, I sincerely hope he has apologized for his ill-mannered behavior toward you." 

"Yes, Ma'am, he has." 

"I did, Grandma. Everybody heard me. Even the teacher." 

"Okay, honey." As she looked back at me, she saw blood still dripping from my nose, so she pushed my head back again and wiped my face with the rag. "Stay there," she directed and then came back moments later with a fresh rag which she had wrapped around some ice. It was a little painful as she held the rag to my face with firm pressure, so I gritted my teeth and gripped the arms of the chair, endeavoring to ignore the pain. "Didn't I make it clear that you were to extend a welcome to this boy, Ben?" she asked. 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"I am very disappointed that you have disobeyed me. I warned you against any more fighting. I've half a mind to turn you over my knee right here!" But I was pretty sure she wouldn't. She never spanked me in front of anyone. Not even in front of Grandpa or my dad. 

"I didn't, Grandma." 

"Maybe we should leave," Eric suddenly suggested, no doubt fearing my grandmother was on the verge of losing her temper. 

"No, I'd like you two to stay, please, until I've heard the complete story." 

Although I couldn't see them, I was sure the guys were feeling as anxious as I was. "I didn't do anything wrong, Grandma," I asserted firmly. 

"You weren't fighting with Innusiq again?" 

"No, Ma'am. I wasn't. I swear." 

"I don't see how I can believe that, Ben, given the evidence." 

"It's true, Mrs. Fraser," Innusiq backed me up. "Ben said...he told me I could punch him so we'd be even." 

Grandma looked me in the eyes as she continued her first aid. "Is that the truth, Ben?" I nodded and Grandma's frown slowly melted. "Hold that tight against your nose..." she directed as she took my hand and placed it over the rag, "...and follow me." 

"But, Grandma," I protested, thinking I was facing punishment which I honestly didn't think I deserved. 

"You two boys come, as well," she said to the others. 

None of us moved, as we were uneasy about my grandmother's intentions. Surely she wasn't going to punish us all. 

"Now, Ben, please. And bring your friends. I have something to show you." 

"Yes, Ma'am." I complied, hopping off the chair and indicating with a nod of my head for the other boys to follow. 

* * *

The three of us stood just inside the door to the study and watched my grandmother browse through the bookshelves. *Oh God! She's gonna make us read some boring essay about fighting or wars or something!* I thought to myself. *The guys are gonna hate me!* 

"Grandma, I think we're all friends now," I said, hoping to convince her that we didn't need to read the boring essay. 

"Good, honey," she replied absent-mindedly while continuing her search. "Ah, here it is." She took a fairly thick volume down from the shelf, then went over to the closet and began rummaging in there. We all furrowed our brows at each other, mystified as to what my grandmother was up to. Finally, she reappeared from the closet, carrying something that was made of brown leather. 

"Here, Ben. Try these on," she ordered, dropping the brown leather into my arms. She took the ice wrap from me and dabbed my face clean as I checked out the bundle in my arms with great curiosity. 

"What is it, Grandma?" 

"Boxing gloves. Your father used these when he was about your age. Perhaps it's time you were taught the proper rules and etiquette of the sport." 

"Wow! Real boxing gloves!" I exclaimed as I tried them on. "Look, guys!" 

"They're not for you to play with, honey," Grandma explained while lacing the gloves on me properly. "This is a serious sport, and if you are mature enough to treat it as such, then I will undertake to instruct you in the basics." 

"I am, Grandma. I'm mature enough." I held up my gloved hands proudly and beamed a broad smile. 

"You know how to box, Mrs. Fraser?" Innusiq asked shyly. 

"Well, I'm not an expert, young man, but with the help of this manual I taught Ben's father, and I can do the same for Ben." 

"Gosh, that's cool, Ben. You're so lucky," Innusiq said. 

I looked at Innusiq and saw him eyeing the boxing gloves with envy. "Hey, Grandma, can you teach Innusiq, too?" He smiled when I said this and then we both looked at my grandmother with pleading eyes. She smiled and put her arms around us. 

"I don't see why not, if that's what you'd like, Innusiq. As long as it's all right with your parents." 

"Oh, yes, Ma'am. That'd be cool! Thank you, Ma'am!" 

"Hmm, fine. It'd be cool, eh? Perhaps some vocabulary lessons are in order as well." 

Innusiq and I frowned momentarily at her comment, then shrugged and broke out in giggles. I began to throw mock jabs at the air and hopped about the room as if dodging an opponent. 

"Oh, brother!" Eric sighed. "There's gonna be no living with you from now on. Just remember, you're still a scrawny-butt." 

Without missing a beat, I swung around and threw my arm out until the gloved hand landed in Eric's gut. I didn't hit him all that hard, but I caught him off guard, causing him to double over, clutching his stomach. I immediately froze in my steps. 

"Oops!" 

"Benton!" Grandma shouted. 

"I'm sorry, Grandma. I didn't mean to hit him, just surprise him." 

"Very well done, dear!" She took me by the neck to face Eric. "Surprising your opponent is one of the best ways to assure a victory over him. You're not hurt, are you, Eric?" 

"No, Ma'am," Eric sputtered back, with a glower in my direction. 

"Good. Now, remember that, Ben. Always keep your opponent guessing. If he can predict every punch you throw, you'll be defeated in no time." 

"Okay, Grandma," I replied, trying not to let Eric see the self-satisfaction I was feeling. 

"I owe you for that, Mountie-Boy," Eric whispered as he walked by me to take a seat. 

"Can I try?" Innusiq asked eagerly. 

"Tomorrow. We'll start lessons tomorrow after school. Eric, you're welcome to join us if you'd like," Grandma offered. 

"Um, I don't need lessons. Thanks anyway, Ma'am." 

"I see. Well, you could assist me, perhaps. The boys could benefit from another sparring partner." 

"No, Grandma..." I started to say, knowing how Eric would jump at that opportunity. 

"Oh, yeah. Since you put it like that, maybe I could help you sometimes," Eric agreed with a devilish sneer. 

"Good," Grandma replied and then squeezed my neck gently to get my attention, as I was in sort of a state of shock at the prospect of sparring with Eric. "Let's take these off until tomorrow afternoon, honey," she said as she began to unlace the gloves. 

"Can't I wear them a little bit longer? Um, I need to get used to them." The truth was that I was scared to be near Eric without the added security they brought me. 

"Ten minutes, then I want you to start your homework. You were so late getting home, it's almost dinnertime." 

"Sorry. I won't be late anymore." 

"I hope not, or I'd better hear a darn good reason for it!" 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

Grandma cupped my chin in her hand and looked at me with suspicion. I think she was still trying to decide whether to demand a full explanation for my tardiness that afternoon. I was relieved and quite surprised when she let me off with only a pinch to my cheek and a "Very well." 

"You boys had better be going home now before your parents start to worry." 

"Yes, Ma'am," Eric answered. He sure knew how to be polite around my grandmother! 

"It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Fraser," Innusiq said as he offered a handshake, which Grandma accepted and then led them both to the door of the study. 

"Oh, one more thing, gentlemen. No more hitting each other or anyone else unless it's here during boxing lessons. All right?" 

Innusiq and Eric both nodded in assent. 

"That goes for you too, Ben." 

"Yes, Grandma." 

Grandma looked back and forth between me and Innusiq and shook her head despairingly. "The two of you are going to be pretty pictures for a while," she said ironically. "I think you could have become friends without all this nonsense." 

We didn't reply. We wouldn't have missed all this nonsense for the world. And I couldn't restrain a smirk of pride in my bruised face. 

"Good-bye, Ben," Innusiq called as he and Eric were on their way out the door. 

"'Bye, guys!" 

After my friends had left, Grandma came and stood before me, gently tracing the wounds on my face. "Does it hurt, honey?" 

"No...no, no...yeah. But just a little," I lied. It hurt quite a lot still, but I didn't care. 

"It doesn't appear that anything's broken. And the ice should help with the swelling. Do you remember when you were little I'd always kiss your boo-boos to make them all better?" 

"I'm not little anymore, Grandma," I insisted, blushing at the thought of her kissing my hard-won wounds. 

"No," she agreed, smiling. "You're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you?" 

"Proud about what?" 

"About everything -- these past two days." 

"I'm not proud I hit Innusiq." 

"I know. But you fixed it, didn't you? You made it all better." 

"Uh huh, I guess." 

Grandma couldn't resist any longer. She bent down and tenderly kissed my nose. If she had done that when my friends were over, I never would have forgiven her. A spanking I might have been able to live down, but a kiss -- never! However, since we were alone, I was quite pleased by her kiss, so I gave her a smile in return. 

"Thank you for not being mad at me, Grandma." 

"We all make mistakes when we're trying to learn something new, honey." She winked at me, then studied my face again as she shook her head back and forth in disbelief. "Tsk, tsk! What is your grandfather going to say when he gets a peek at you?" 

I shrugged, then smirked as I replied, "Why the heck didn't you duck?" 

"Yes, probably," she smirked back. "Well, off with those boxing gloves now." 

"It hasn't been ten minutes yet," I whined. 

"Pardon me?" 

"You said I could wear 'em for ten minutes." 

"And now I'm telling you to take them off and go start your homework." 

I debated in my mind whether to push for the ten minutes, but then I realized I didn't want to risk spoiling my grandmother's good humor by arguing with her. "Okay, Grandma. Can you help me?" I asked as I held my hands out to her so she could unlace the gloves. I watched her place the gloves on the desktop. "Can I take 'em to my room? I won't wear 'em, just look at 'em." 

"No. They'll be left right here when we're not using them. I told you they're not a toy." 

"Yes, Ma'am," I answered. But one day the following week, while Innusiq was enjoying a private lesson from my grandma, I was confined to my bedroom as punishment for sneaking the gloves to school without permission. I was quickly up to speed, however, because the next day at school Innusiq shared with me everything he'd learned. 

* * *

**THE END**

maryspen@aol.com 


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